Category Archives: Industry

“Yes, this is exactly how I hoped things would work out” says May

“there are plenty of similar motivational initiatives in the pipeline”

The PM believes massive US tariff hikes are a welcome incentive for UK industry to work harder.

“I’ve already phoned President Trump to thank him for implementing the agreement we made during my visit.” said Mrs May “He’s assured me there are plenty of similar motivational initiatives in the pipeline**.

“So that’s all good. The President calls it the ‘Bend over and touch your toes, this might smart a bit’ approach, Continue reading

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“Start practising ballet” government tells Port Talbot steel workers

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Without Mrs Thatcher this young miner would never have manifested his destiny

The government has this morning issued guidance to the people of Port Talbot who are facing the loss of 15,000 jobs due to the British steel industry being swapped about the globe then discarded like a crap pog in a nineties playground: get dancing.

“We’ve all seen that wonderful documentary Billy Elliot,” said a Number 10 insider. “A gritty insight into ‘the north’ and one which shows how people can improve their lot through ballet.” Continue reading

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