Kremlin denies all knowledge of UK weather

massive fan

The Russian Ambassador has complained about prejudiced UK weather reports.

“You get bit of snow and immediately point finger at Russia. Not fair. You have no evidence to support theory of cold air from Siberia.”

But the met office has confirmed that the recent big freeze was correctly identified as the Beast from the East, or Storm Vladimir Putin to give it its proper name.

“The evidence is there,” said a BBC weatherwoman, pointing to the carcass of a yeti washed up on a beach in Norfolk.

Security correspondent Cordon Careers also pointed out that Putin has recently unveiled his new ‘invincible weapon’, a giant nuclear-powered fan located in Siberia and pointing straight at London.

“If he lets one off behind that after a bowl of his grandmother’s goulash, the whiff could reach Boris Johnson’s nasal receptors in a matter of hours,” he warned.

MI6 spent the day playing with James Bond movie titles to link the bad weather with Russian spies.

“Brrr, it’s minus 007 outside,” said one shivering operative, coming in from the cold.  “From Russia with Glove,” quipped another.  “Don’t forget Coldfinger and For Your Ice Only,” added a third.

“Oi, you lot, get on with your work,” said M.


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