Brexit: Willo the Wisp to replace Will O’the People to cheer everyone up

As the UK political climate continues to be as relentlessly grim as that episode of Sesame Street which begins with Bert finally snapping and ends with him turning the gun on himself it has been announced that the very real Willo the Wisp will replace the entirely mythical will of the people in all future Brexit discourse.

“We thought it would give everyone a smile,” said David Davis in his Moogish way. “Smile are nice and so are blue passports I guess. I dunno. What is France?”

Carwash Gove peered superciouslly over the top of his glasses to opine that no matter what happened he wanted to make it clear that the blame would lie with Theresa Mavis-Cruet: “she’s entirely ineffectual,” he drawled. “Not one of her magic spells for the country has worked. I think everyone has had enough of fairies. And may I also say that the rumours that there’s some sort of huge Beast out there lumbering about unchecked causing untold damage is nonsense. We know exactly where Boris is and what he’s doing.”

Meanwhile a sentient TV known only as Evil Edna Rees-Mogg continued to babble nonsense to itself in a corner as it does all day every day until about half eleven when it then turns itself off having first played the national anthem and set its alarm clock for the height of the British Empire.

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