Grayling on rail fare rises “Buy a second home on expenses, like me.”

Astonishingly, Grayling really is as daft and as honest as he looks

Transport Secretary Chris Grayling says commuters unhappy with rail price hikes should consider buying a second home on expenses.

“When rail fares went up, you didn’t see me moaning. No, I did the sensible thing and got the public to buy me another house. Quite why passengers can’t do the same is beyond me, are they all Corbyn supporters?”

His constituents’ previous MP was Norman Tebbit, who once said people should get on their bikes to look for work, but Mr Grayling insists that it makes more sense to wangle a couple of hundred grand out of the tax payer.

“It’s all academic now for me, as I get a free ministerial car and driver. There you go, another course these moaners could follow, become a minister – no skill or experience needed. That’s two options I’ve given you in under two minutes. I’m going to have a little lie down now, that’s more work than I usually do in a whole day.”

“I shall close me eyes and daydream about all the directorships I’ll get, after I retire from parliament.”