May: compared to £1.5bn DUP bribe, £140m for a general election “a bargain”

20,000 homes or another period in office? Tough call

Responding to critics who claim the election costs could have funded 4000 teachers, Theresa May says £140m was “chicken feed”, compared to £1.5bn handed to people less welcome on your doorstep than Jehovah’s Witnesses, which might have built 20,000 homes instead. “… and that wasn’t really a problem for me either, because it wasn’t my own money.” the PM explained.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again until I get a new script, there is no magic money tree.” said Mrs May.

“There used to be one but the DUP chopped it up to use on a bonfire. Something about Catholics or renewable fuel, I wasn’t really listening. I can’t stand that Arlene Foster woman’s awful voice.”