Puzzled Jeremy Hunt: asks suicide risk case Judge, “‘what are shame and embarrassment?”

“Shame? Nope, I’ve got no idea.”

Jeremy Hunt is baffled by a Judge’s criticism of NHS services, which included the unknown words ‘shame’ and ’embarrassment’.

“This is another example of an out of touch judiciary” said a clearly exasperated Health Secretary “using obscure words, which no one understands. I’ve asked all my colleagues and they don’t know their meaning either. Maybe he made them up, like me and NHS targets.”

Sir James Munby, head of the high court’s family division, thinks it’s a disgrace there’s no hospital place for the care of a suicide risk teenager, due for release from custody in a few days.

Munby ordered copies of the judgment be sent to the home secretary, Amber Rudd; the health secretary, Jeremy Hunt; the education secretary, Justine Greening, and the justice secretary, David Lidington, as well as the chief executive of NHS England.

“Oh, that’s a relief said Hunt on learning of the distribution list.”We can arrange a multi-ministerial conference and then order an enquiry. All I need is a sympathetic Judge, any ideas? I assume there’s no rush.”

In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123