Queen to retire after spawning 70 millionth subject.


Forcing one out for Queen and colony

The palace have made a special announcement on behalf of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, stating that she plans to retire once she’s laid her 70 millionth egg.

Her Majesty, who founded the UK in 1952, has been busily producing offspring ever since, taking the population up to 65 and a half million.

But at 91 years old, her royal ovipostor is showing its age; which has led many in her household to advise knocking it off.

With millions of workers keeping the colony afloat, a few thousand soldiers protecting its borders and 650 drones fucking everyone about from the House of Commons, the UK colony has seen good times and bad. But there are fears now that a shortage of suitable accommodation and inadequate food supplies will lead to an increase in hive members spraying each other in the face with formic acid and surreptitiously eating the larvae.

Although Prince Philip’s ailing health has resulted in his reduced public workload, it’s believed that he’s put by sufficient sperm packets to enable the queen to keep pumping out the pupae for a while yet.

But since Camilla Duchess of Cornwall is ineligible to take over from the Queen, the Duchess of Cambridge is preparing for the inevitable succession with strenuous pelvic floor exercises and quaffing large amounts of Prince’s royal jelly.

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