Mrs May pledges buckets of chips for everyone

Mrs May negotiating a chip.

The Conservative Party has started its campaign of checking the quality of chips in every town in the country.

“I have been absolutely clear right from the start that the foundation of a strong economy is a good plate of chips,” she told the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg.

“Historically, we’ve always been a nation built on potatoes and we welcome the diversity of modern potato products, like crisps and waffles, along with the more traditional formats, such as roast potatoes and, of course, chips.  Not to mention jacket potatoes, which provide not only carbohydrates but also clothing for poor people.”

The Tory election manifesto is expected to include a whole section dedicated to lifting the nation’s pride in its potato-based heritage.  “Who needs Europe when you’ve got an allotment full of potatoes and a plate of chips on the dinner table?” she asked.  “And optional scraps at no extra charge.  Where else in Europe do they treat you like that?”

But analysts believe that Mrs May is simply buttering up the people ready for Philip Hammond to introduce a new potato levy to help pay for Brexit.

Jeremy Corbyn has urged all vegetarians to vote Labour in June.  “We must fight this evil potato tax,” he said.

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