Trump: ‘I have the smarts to solve the Israel-Pennsylvania conflict’

President Trump used a press conference with Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu to say he doesn’t need detailed briefings from officials as he already has the smarts to solve the Israel-Pennsylvania conflict.

“I have a great instinct for this sort of thing, there is no need to get lost in the detail” explained Trump.

“Everything is on the table, there’s the two-state solution, but I’ve also discussed the one-state solution with Governor Netanyahu. Perhaps it could be called ‘Israelvania’ as a compromise?”

Trump said an important part of any solution was dealing with the rogue state of Iowa.

“We have to curb Iowa’s nuclear ambitions, and the best way is to starve them of cash. You can rest assured my Presidency will leave Iowa bankrupt” beamed Trump.

Attempts were made to clarify President Trump’s comments with Kellyanne Conway but her office said she was away attending a memorial service at Bowling Green.