Statue of Liberty spotted buying ticket to Paris “just in case”


She’s been doing that grumpy face ever since she realised what a mistake being in Ghostbusters II was

The Mother of Exiles from whose beacon-hand glows worldwide welcome has been spotted in a Manhattan travel agents buying a one-way ticket to Paris for November 9th.

“It’s just in case,” said the Statue of Liberty. “Just in case Trump wins the keys to the White House. I’d rather go home than stay here as a landmark in a country ruled by an orange malignancy who couldn’t be more of an enemy of democracy if he beat it to death in an alley then broke into its house and shat on its cat.”

“On my base an invitation to the world is written for it to: ‘Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!’

“Should Trump win I’m not sticking around to live under the regime of a man who thinks a base is just another thing to grab a woman by and that the golden door is something you can pay a prostitute to do. And if he wants a symbol of his America then he can get cracking on that wall.”

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