Shadowy Windsor family exposed in multi-generational benefit scam

Brown envelopes seem more appropriate but Bacs transfer will have to do

Whilst her former flunkey, Ronald Harper begins a five-stretch, over a trifling £100K bung, 90 year-old Elizabeth Windsor has dodged prosecution again, despite pocketing that amount and more, weekly, for over sixty years.

Based on nothing more than Mrs Windsor popping out of the right vagina in the early 20th century, a web of her relatives, many of them German or Greek immigrants, has taken advantage of the UK’s generous social security system ever since.

“This is a family where no one’s done a day’s work in centuries.” said PC Anita Flegg “Apart from Henry VIII, if being a misogynistic nutcase counts as work.”

“Younger members of the family are even now in Canada trying to extend the scam by using their children as bait to lure the unwary before robbing them of their dignity and national self-determination.”

At Southwark Crown Court yesterday, Judge Smith said “… an  apparently loyal team player, nobody guessed you’d go to the lengths that you did for personal gain. Your lack of remorse is remarkable. And the same goes for Ronald Harper.”