Unemployed father of 129 asks to join Tory leadership race

kyleWith number of children now the key factor in choosing the Tory leader, unemployed father of 129 Dave Grobbelaar has applied to join the race.

Grobbelaar, who lives in Harold’s Shippam’s Estate, said he didn’t want to knock people who had less than 100 children, but he felt constantly fathering children gave him an unmmatched stake in the future of the country.

“This is no criticism of Angela Leadsom, because there are probably very personal reasons why she couldn’t have 100 children, but frankly her just having 3 kids is worse than having none” explained Grobbelaar.

“I don’t know Mrs Leadsom personally, but she’s probably so involved in doting over her 3 kids lives, she’d lose perspective and think the world revolves around those kids. I prefer to take a much more hands off approach with my 129 children, and that’s not just because of all the restraining orders against me” said Mr Grobbelaar.

Grobbelaar said he was more qualified to be PM than Leadsom for other reasons as well.

“I totally support gay marriage, especially for men, as it clears the playing field for me. And there can never be any suggestion I’ve embellished my CV as I’ve never worked my entire life” explained Grobbelaar.

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