Man doesn’t visit Garden or DIY Centre at Bank Holiday

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At every visit, something  inside you dies

A man from the quiet English village of Harold has stumped ‘Quest TV’ viewers and lifestyle experts alike by not buying plants or pozidriv screws this weekend.

Family man Gary Thorne, 43, a driver with Harold Bus Company, lives an otherwise unremarkable life as a devoted husband and a keen voyeur, swinger, and dogger. “No one guessed – beneath that veneer of normality lurked a cultural rebel.” said Rev. Tansy Foster, who says her faith has been tested by the news.

An unrepentant Thorne doesn’t even own a barbecue and has no intention of conforming to societal norms. He will spend the Bank Holiday itself in an environmentally neutral activity. In a queue of traffic at the recycling centre, with his car’s air conditioning running, waiting to dispose of hedge clippings.

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