New theme park ‘En-Ger-Land’ may open in 2020

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“En-Ger-Land, En-Ger-Land, En-Ger-Land… oh and Scotland too”

En-Ger-Land, a fantasy theme park which could encompass the entire country by 2020, may undermine prospects for a UK version of ‘Disneyland’ due to open in Kent the following year.

A company spokesperson, Mr Farage, explained how, if the shareholders give the go-ahead on 23rd June, he will start work the next day. “We’ll be rolling out traditional village pubs across the country; with jolly landlords reminiscing about a better time when no one was black or gay and women knew their place and dressed to please”.

“I can’t wait to tuck into New Zealand lamb for Sunday lunch again” he said wistfully “though that may not be until July. Some of those lambs must be oh, 41 years old by now, I bet the farmers will be glad to see them go.”

Farage says Iain Duncan Smith will abolish global warming within the first 100 days, leading to long hot summers with cricket unaffected by rain and crisp winter mornings watching the local hunt in full cry. “You might want to stay in to keep warm though. The weather will be back to pre-EU style but you won’t have any central heating.”

We are grateful to well-known Harold resident Dave Sid Poole, for bringing this important story to our attention

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