Minimum-wage earners ‘delighted’ by Osborne pensions U-turn

Pity him, for he knows not what he does

Are you thinking what he’s thinking? Shame on you!

Low-paid workers are celebrating the UK Chancellor’s decision not to end tax relief on pension contributions.

“I was sick with worry, about it,” said Carly Jeffery, a Teaching Assistant from the English village of Harold “so this is a great weight off my mind.”

Contrary to rumours spread by the UK’s mostly left-wing press, says Jeffery, poor people like her are quite content with their lot in life.

“It’s the people with more money, cars, bank accounts, and houses I feel sorry for; sleepless nights fretting if house prices will outperform equities.”

Jeffery says the Chancellor’s friends are probably much better placed than she is to know what’s good for the economy “I’m happy to lose my tax credits if it means Mr Osborne’s friends can continue getting tax breaks and build up massive pension pots.”

“Whereas, if I got more money, I’d only waste it on peas and milk and bread and such-like.”

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