No one under 30 cares even slightly that you liked the Cure before they were popular, according to an informal survey of British workplaces.
They are also profoundly uninterested you saw Siouxsie and the Banshees play in a small North London pub in 1980, and had a joint with the band afterwards.
“Basically when I hear shit like this, I just think ‘sad old loser’,” said Melanie Delaney, 19.
“And when they reminisce about reaching out to touch Debbie Harry’s hair at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1977, I think ‘sad old creepy loser’.”
Delaney observed that if her line manager and office accountant were really cool in the late 70s, they’d have died of an overdose during a romp with three hookers rather than ‘boring the shit out of me now’.
Co-worker Jazz Thomson, 29, said she made the mistake of saying ‘awesome’ when a colleague told her of purchasing an early Joy Division 7”, when she should have just said ‘piss off and die’.
“I mean I liked David Bowie but that was because he was an amazingly talented old guy. Andrew, Malcolm, and Rob are just old. I am as uninterested in their vinyl collection as I am in their latex sex doll collection” said Thomson.
Both Delaney and Thomson did agree that seeing Bauhaus perform Bela Lugosi’s Dead in a small club in Northampton in 1979 was actually quite cool, and if Steve from accounts really had dived on stage and touched Peter Murphy, he could use that same hand to stroke their hair for a bit if he wanted.
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