Pope Francis has confirmed that contraception is sometimes ok if it prevents a greater evil, eg the conception and subsequent spreading of Donald Trump.
“Avoiding pregnancy is not an absolute evil, so contraception can be justified if it prevents babies being born with Trumpephaly, ie very large heads, bad hair, but no discernible brains” said the Pontiff during a visit to Mexico.
Trumpephaly is a disease most easily obtained through sexual intercourse between Donald Trump’s parents, but it can also be spread through other ways, such as prolonged exposure to Fox News.
Most cases of Trumpephaly are confined to the US but there have been isolated outbreaks elsewhere, with Katie Hopkins and Vladimir Putin receiving strong doses.
The Pope said abortion was still not condoned in any circumstances whatsoever, but someone who say aborted a 69 year old riddled with Trumpephaly could expect a very discounted rate of Hail Mary’s.
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