Money raised by NHS Choir charity single “will be spent on redundancy payments”

“See this? That’s more than the public will benefit.”

Jeremy Hunt is delighted with the success of the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS Choir’s single, but says all the profits must go to the NHS, as the song was performed in NHS uniforms and filmed on NHS premises.

“But vulnerable individuals will still benefit.” assured the Health Secretary “After we take a 55% administration fee, the balance will be spent on staff redundancy payments.”

Hunt denied rumours that jobs cuts will fall most heavily on leaders of the junior doctors’ industrial dispute, or ‘those utter bastards’ as he calls them, promising his new Health Lottery scheme will ensure absolute fairness.

“All employee’s name’s will go into an enormous hat and then I’ll draw out the names of random junior doctors at my New Year’s Eve party. Not the choir members though, they’re all facing disciplinary proceedings for ‘moonlighting’ whilst on duty.”