Anti-terror police raid Westminster address after tip-off 500 planning bombing campaign

Anti-terror police say they have raided a Westminster address known as the House of Commons and arrested 500 people on suspicion of planning a genocidal bombing campaign in Syria after a tip-off from a 66 year-old Islington informer.

The majority of the people arrested belong to the well known terrorist group ‘the Tories’ who have been launching attacks on domestic targets such as the NHS and disabled people for years.

But alarmingly the Tories have recently been joined by a dangerous splinter group called ‘Tory lite’ who have links to fugitive war criminal Tony Blair.

Metropolitan Police chief Bernard Hogan-Howe said the terrorists were believed to be associated with an American religious cult that worshipped oil and other internally combustible fuels.

“When our officers stormed into the House, they were met with chants of ‘All our motorcars’. Unfortunately none of the petroleum zealots blew themselves up” said Howe.

Howe said a thorough search of the premises revealed little sign of conscience and humanity, but added they did find a number of thank you notes from defence contractors and child casket manufacturers.

“When questioned, the Tories and their supporters said they were trying to stop innocent people being beheaded. Our inquiries revealed this was an obvious lie as they had no plans whatsoever to bomb Saudi Arabia”, remarked Howe.

Police legal sources say as well as attempted genocide offences, they are considering charging the 500 with having a memory like a goldfish because they couldn’t remember as far back as 2003.