Is this Britain’s new biggest killer?

One of these will blow your mind…

The rapid increase in the number of click bait related deaths has led top neurologist Dr William Fish to call for immediate action to curb the practice.

He blames the recent growth in deaths by ‘blown minds’ on social media posts which offer to ‘shock, stun or amaze’ the most vulnerable, sad, gullible and pathetically easy to amuse members of society.

“One such experience on its own causes little damage” said Dr Fish. “However the addictive attraction of these posts keeps the dribblingly feeble minded coming back for more time and time and time again.”

He said that the high expectation of seeing something ‘out of this world’ or that ‘you’ll never believe’ and the subsequent deflation when all one sees is a small dog wearing a Batman cape jumping on a trampoline, gives much the same effect as a coming down from a large dose of heroin.

“Over time the combined effects of hopes raised and then crushed causes the brains of these individuals to liquify and leak down their spinal cord and out of their elastic topped jogging bottoms.”

“This ultimately results in loss of sleep, an inability to focus on day to day tasks, followed by a desire to watch ITV game shows with the sound right up and eventually death.”

A spokesman for social media refuted the claims saying, “We carried out our own thorough investigation and the full report can be downloaded from our FTP site. I’m sure you’ll find the results will restore your faith in social media, but what we learned about Dr Fish and his PA will really freak you out.”

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