Aids drug company says 5000% price hike was ‘because we’re shits’


Trust me, I’m in Big Pharma

Martin Shkreli, boss of eye-watering price-hikers Turing Pharmaceuticals, says they’ll drop the price of Daraprim, which they acquired in August, after Aids patients got a bit too loudly.

“Look, they’re Aids patients – always whining about something. OK, if going from under £10 to almost £500 in a month was a bit sudden, we’ll drop it a little. We can crank it up again later. Because we’re shits.”

As recently as Monday, Shkreli had said hugely increased profits were essential to fund research. Important research, definitely not of the ‘How many diamonds fit into a gold-plated Ferrari?’variety.

He accused critics of not understanding the pharma industry. “We’re shits, we shit on people. It’s what shits do.Why won’t people understand that we’re shits?”

Daraprim treats parasitic infection and critics think its purpose is an ironic fit with Turing’s company ethos. Being parasitic shits.

A company spokesperson said today that Mr Shkreli had left the company after ‘seeing the light’ and giving up pharma in favour of the more socially acceptable pastime of shooting lions.

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