Bono calls for system where citizens contribute money into central government pot to fund refugees

Many more Syrian refugees could be rehomed if Western governments introduced a system where citizens were forced to pay a portion of their income into a nationally administered central pot, according to Irish singer, activist, and thinker Bono.

“Refugees, hospitals, and schools, you name it, we could pay for it all if only the UK and other Western governments introduced a compulsory system to take money from its people” said Bono smugly.

“Obviously such a system would need to be carefully thought through as some people who appear to be very rich actually suffer from a debilitating condition called ‘accounting’, so it would be cruel to expect them to contribute. But everyone else needs to be made to play their part.”

“Think of my suggested scheme as a kind of compulsory Live Aid, only with less singing and emotional blackmail, and more pre-printed forms.”

“And just like Live Aid, I’ll help get the project off the ground on a pro-bono basis, that is I’ll work for free and just put up with any wearisome publicity boost I get” smugged Bono.

Reaction to Bono’s plan was mixed with one commentator saying there was already a name for a compulsory imposition, applied to all, that was almost impossible to escape.

“It’s called the latest U2 album, downloaded to your iTunes account.”