Tai Chi ‘slowly evolving into PE’ say experts

tai chi

He’s barely broken a sweat.

The art of Tai Chi body movement may be very gradually evolving into PE. That’s the claim in a new scientific paper, jointly written by an expert in Darwinism and a PE teacher from Harold.

“Evolution is a very slow process at the best of times,” said Dr Joan Mirror, “so when you’re dealing with the evolution of something as slow as Tai Chi, you’re probably looking at hundreds of millions of years before the hallmarks of PE begin to emerge.”

PE teacher Pat Evans volunteered to join a Tai Chi evening class in Dunstable library for first-hand experience of the frame of mind. “I’d last ten minutes, moving my arms very, very slowly like sunflowers swaying in the dawn mist, then I’d crack and have to do 25 squats and 40 press-ups to jolt myself back into reality.

“They banned me in the end, after I tested positive for ginseng. They also tested my yin-yang. It was borderline.”

The breakthrough came when Evans was watching Tai Chi instructional videos. “It was very slow and boring, so I thought I’d fast forward to a new bit and that was when I had my Eureka moment. There they were, before my very eyes, jumping up and down and waving their arms and legs about just like the kids in my class.”

Dr Mirror has now written to the British Association of Tai Chi Masters, saying why don’t they film their stuff in slow motion, then it could be played back at normal speed.

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