Jeremy Hunt yet to decide on which 7 days the NHS will be open in 2016

This is how much I value doctors

Doctors’ trade union, the BMA is confused by Jeremy Hunt’s call for a 7 day service “We expected Mr Hunt to take much longer to reduce the scope of the NHS” said BMA chair Dr Mark Porter today “but we’re hoping the 7 days are in the winter, excluding Christmas & New Year”.

Hunt is generally pleased with the number of doctors baling out of the NHS or retiring early but thinks there is more he can do.“We took Michael Gove’s model for education, coating obvious disdain in a tissue-thin veneer of syrup, then capping staff pay for a decade and hoovering up extra for ourselves”.

On the basis that there is scope further to lower morale and reduce the NHS to a steaming pile of shit, Hunt began his latest offensive on staff today.

Barking at doctors to provide a seven day service, he threatened to instruct them to provide a seven day service if they haven’t obeyed and agreed to provide a seven day service by the time he gets back fully relaxed from his summer  holiday in six weeks.

[note to sub-editors: no tacky ‘typos’ in this guys i.e. no referring to him as a uselesss Hunt!]