Harold’s oldest pig accidentally served at own birthday


Boris was well received.

A Wessex Saddleback pig from Harold was better received than expected at his ‘Oldest Pig’ ceremony, after a catering mix-up caused him to feature in his own vol-au-vents.

‘Boris’, a 37 year-old hog with gout and high cholesterol, was celebrated in the Harold village hall last Tuesday.

Despite health and safety preventing his appearance in person, it now seems most of him did show up. Only his tail and lips are yet to be accounted for.

Many of those present didn’t realise quite how much they appreciated Boris, until a communal pork pie repeated on them late on Thursday.

“I was browsing meat in the butchers, and Boris couldn’t have been further from my mind”, said Elsie Duggan. “And then a windy pop appeared, and both I and the serving staff immediately began to weep.”

Boris’s distinctive smell has long been known in the village, particularly on warm days a few hours after the Year 2 pupils fed him black pudding. ‘Musty’ is the word that often springs to mind.

Boris’s funeral will take place a week on Wednesday, which should give the caterers time to defrost his nostalgic buttocks.

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