Horror ride re-opens early for serious thrill seekers

rollerDespite the recent horrific accident in which several people were maimed, a local theme park has confirmed the ride involved would be open for business as usual this morning.

The proprietor of Harold Pleasure Park explained the ethos of the ride. “Everyone who takes a trip on a rollercoaster is seeking a thrill and taking a risk,” said Eddie Evans, “our Mortician Botherer ride offers all of that and more with our dodgy maintenance and lax attitude to health and safety procedures thrown in at no extra cost. You get a real sense of survival when you get off one of our rides.”

Mr Evans said the ride had undergone a detailed inspection since the accident which he explained was due to a ‘cock up’.  “These things happen,” he said defensively, “but Dave from the pub .. er … I mean our maintenance guy,  gave it a real going over with his special hammer for a good ten minutes and assured me it was probably OK.”

The park is no stranger to controversy. At Christmas it was forced to withdraw its Slay Ride after the reindeer fell off the tracks at the loops; and only last month the park was condemned for an incident following its safari park promotion offering half price discounts for families driving through the lion enclosure in convertible cars.

“Ah! That was a surprise to all of us,” admitted Mr Evans, “We were as amazed as everyone else when we heard of the attack, because we were sure the lions had escaped through a hole in the perimeter fence.”

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