Miliband still waiting for Labour to reject his resignation

We Might As Well Be Strangers

Aides close to Ed Miliband have depicted him as a broken man desperately believing that his beloved Party will call him and reject his resignation as Leader following last week’s General Election.

“People don’t realise the sacrifices Ed has gone through for the cause,” said close confidant, Cath Drucker.

“The poor man is still combing nits out of his hair after that interview with Russell Brand, and his back is agony after trying to hide that headstone before the press came for its launch. I’ll admit his PR radar is not exactly batlike, but even Ed could see that was going to be a millstone around his neck.

Ms Drucker is hoping that UKIP’s rejection of Nigel Farage’s resignation may give a hint in the right direction to Labour’s grandees. “Bloody Farage keeps bobbing back like an un-flushable turd,” she said, “ I don’t see why Ed should be treated any differently.”

Whilst her boss waits dejectedly for the call that may never come, Ms Drucker rejected any suggestion that the speech she wrote for him last Friday may have been misunderstood, insisting that Ed’s strategy was totally correct.

“I thought it was perfectly clear that it was only a token resignation,” she said defiantly, “after all anyone who knows Ed will know that he never means what he says.”