BBC ratings soar with ‘Great British Sleep Off’

"Wake me up when Newsnight's over"

“Wake me up when Newsnight’s over”

Sleep is the latest relaxing activity to be turned into a stressful competition, thanks to a new show on BBC 1.

‘The Great British Sleep Off’ adds napping to the list of things we used to find therapeutic, such as cooking tea, doing a bit in the garden, or knitting a scarf.

“This is brilliant news”, said Harold’s Pippa Delaney. “I used to worry that my night-times were completely wasted. But now I can use that 7 or 8 hours to show off to my neighbours. Or make them cry, which is even better.”

Sue Perkins and Greg Wallace host the show which measures rapid eye movements, restlessness and imaginative use of snoring.

Episode one saw the contestants trying to grab 40 winks on a slightly damp bus seat, while a homeless carelessly drooled on their shoulder.

“Amateurs!”, declared Delaney. “That was some really shit sleeping. Whereas I managed to nod off just by watching it.”

The BBC hopes to turn every aspect of life into a pointless competition, in an attempt to win over the Tories before their Royal charter is reviewed.

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