Man stops to smell the roses and suddenly remembers he’s going to die

Businessman rose“I’d just been so … busy. Pressures of work, lots of chores to do round the house, and the kids constantly playing up. Existential stuff pretty much took a back seat” said Harold insurance assessor Alan Atkins.

“Then there was the distraction of the election, who would ultimately triumph? Those nasty Tories or those bumbling socialists? And what about Farage? Were some of his best friends really Muslim? I don’t know if there was a conclusive answer to that one.”

“I follow the football of course. Harold Thursday FC are still in the running for the play-offs, mathematically speaking I mean. It probably all depends on Bill Cooke’s hamstring – will Dr Clive Evans be able to work his magic? I like to support a big team as well, I think that’s reasonable. Manchester United have been doing ok, better than last season which was frankly a disaster, but I think the influence of the Glazer’s is holding them back.”

“Work, family, football, when will we see Farage’s Muslim best friend? These thoughts were swirling round in my head as I cut through Harold Common on the way home.”

“Then I spied a rose, actually a few roses. Probably a ‘rose garden’ to give it the full technical description. They were seemingly pink in colour but regardless of their exact hue, or perhaps because of it, I was drawn to them.”

“I leant over and inhaled the scent of a single rose and I relaxed. My mind was completely free of everything – no work, no stroppy kids, nothing. I was at one with nature – in a Zen-like state. Then I remembered I was going to die. Not necessarily immediately but the sense of inevitability was overwhelming. F*cking rose.”

“Then I looked up and saw Ron Ronsson who mentioned Dr Evans worked miracles on Bill’s hamstring. By my calculations if Thursday FC win, then Dunstable United will need to win by 3 goals or more to pip them for the playoffs.”

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