Farage ‘rethinks immigration policy’ after door slammed in face


Farage downs another policy.

Until now, UKIP campaigners have welcomed the slamming of doors in their faces as a strong signal in favour of their policy of slamming doors in people’s faces.

“It’s been seen as symbolic support,” say political analysts “of UKIP’s policy of shutting people out.”

But now, a fresh interpretation of the door-slamming gesture has been put forward which undermines UKIP’s positive spin.

Harold body-language expert Janice Evans, author of ‘A History of Human Gestures and Their Meaning’, has pointed out that it is perfectly conceivable that having the door slammed in your face could well be the natural response of someone who is vehemently against your policies of alienation and separatism.

“I would go as far as to say,” said Miss Evans, “that slamming the door in someone’s face is more likely to be seen as a gesture of rejection rather than support. Unless you’re a bit thick.”

Nigel Farage is said to be ‘heartbroken’ on hearing the fresh analysis. “What with me bad back and all,” he told the Harold, “I may as well chuck the whole thing in the bin.” Harold Council is warning local people to take no notice of anything Farage says.

“Our waste disposal resources are overstretched at the best of time,” said Councillor Ronsson, “the last thing we want is some twit advocating bin dependence.”

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