Professor Al Jones, who specialises in comedy change, set up instruments throughout the UK to detect winter global warming jokes, and the results show clear evidence of a man-made comedy catastrophe.
“There have been over a million examples of the ‘and they call this global warming’ joke this winter alone. You have to go back to the Ice Age for a similar spike, when the ‘it’s hot, not’ joke was all the rage” said Professor Jones.
Professor Jones said urgent action was needed to address the problem, with a knob-joke offset scheme as one option, and another being to simply shut the f**k up.
Not everyone is convinced that winter global warming jokes are a serious problem. Comedy change deniers point to a study published in German comedy research magazine ‘No Laughing Matter’ that saw no evidence of any winter global warming jokes at all.
But Professor Jones said sticking your head in the sand wasn’t an option. “For a start you’ll get lots of sand in your eyes and hair. And you’ll be stuck as some pub bore points to the snow outside and tells you he is moving to Iceland to escape the warm weather.”