“You would have thought he is the one person in the world God would want to look after,” one of the faithful braving the weather to see the pontiff said.
“I mean, it’s not like he is an evil person, or an innocent African child or anyone else God always seems to pick on; he’s the Pope.”
The Pope explained that his faith in God to look after him during an act of Himself was as strong as ever, but after his call for tolerance towards homosexuality and a slight relaxation on his view towards the use of condoms to help save lives, he wasn’t willing to test Him.
“I’m sure we’re still friends” Pope Francis explained in eight different languages, “but I have pissed Him off with the old ‘welcome gays’ and ‘try to stop AIDS’ stuff.
“I have spent years preaching that our God is a vengeful one, and this storm could be his way of showing me that. So if it’s alright with you, I’m getting the f**k out. They don’t call it an act of God for nothing”.