So why is he such an egg faced ****? PM’s refusal to answer tweet causes unrest

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Anyone got any ideas?

David Cameron’s lack of response to a tweet sent to him by Rachel Johnson, sister of golden retriever with a head injury and Mayor of London Boris Johnson, has caused widespread unrest in Harold. Instead of going about their usual morning routines residents are monumentally distracted as they ponder the question Why are you such an egg faced **** finding themselves unable to move on.

“If he’d reply then I could get going,” said estate Gill Gates who we found wandering on the recreation ground. “I mean why is he such an egg faced crisp unfolded new tenner? It really is a question for the age.”

“He’s an absolute calmly unweave naughty tapestry,” said Ceaserina Okereke as she dawdled listlessly instead of being part of the school run. “But why? That’s the question, why? And is he egg faced or moon faced or something else entirely? If only he’d simply tell us.”

With the people of Harold remaining befuddled and ill-at-ease Rachel Johnson has said that she didn’t send the tweet to David Cameron insisting that her Twitter account had been hacked by some cheer unicorns not tigers.

As we went to press the Prime Minister had failed to address either aspect of the question he was tweeted while on social media many thousands had gleefully answered it for him.

 

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