“You would have thought they’d have got the message by now,” Geldof said, “but after millions of pounds, four songs, countless concerts and 30 years of Celebrities desperately trying to raise their profile, they still spend the 25th December walking 8 miles to get water instead of watching the Queen’s Christmas message.”
Despite all his good intentions, many in Africa are pleading with Geldof to not record the song again.
“On this continent, centuries of colonial rule and then the mess left behind means we have developed pretty thick skin,” an African Nations spokesman said. “We have famine and Ebola to deal with at the moment, but the thought of Bono and One Direction singing to us will be like a U2 practical joke, it’ll push us over The Edge.”
“If your that f’ing concerned, just send us a calendar”