Farage vetoes unhappy Gove’s bid to defect to UKIP

Farage gives his opinion on Gove (pot & kettle?)

The corridors of Westminster were reeling last night following the astonishing revelation that a disillusioned Michael Gove recently attempted to join UKIP and, even more amazingly, his application was rejected personally by leader Nigel Farage.

Once the class swot, it was known that the former Education Secretary had felt side-lined since his demotion to Westminster dorm monitor so the news that he had been actively seeking a new position was not a huge surprise; but the question every political commentator wanted answered yesterday was, ‘Why had the UKIP hierarchy decided not to hire Gove?’

The answer came last night at throwing out time at Farage’s favourite hostelry, known locally as The Xenophobe Arms. Besieged by journalists, Nigel Farage held an impromptu press conference.

“It’s all about image,” he started.  “We want to show we are a serious political party so we can’t just allow anyone to join.  In fact you could say we at UKIP have our own immigration policy,” he added jovially.”

“But the fundamental issue is,” Farage continued, sounding almost like a real politician. “UKIP is gaining in popularity daily, so why should we throw it all away by welcoming someone as universally loathed as like Michael Gove, and double our quota of fruitcakes in the process?

Few will regret the demise of Mr Gove. Now that his disloyalty to the Conservative Party has been revealed he appears to be destined spend an impoverished future on the Parliamentary back benches leaving him living off the immoral earnings of his wife, Sarah Vine, who is a Daily Mail journalist.

Meantime, Nigel Farage has said that UKIP is open to the right calibre of candidate, “I understand that nice Nick Griffin is looking for a party,” he chortled. Scarily, nobody present could tell if he was joking or being serious.