Salmond claims victory saying Scots voting NO really meant NO to England

Alex Salmond has hailed victory in the Referendum claiming that every vote cast was actually in favour of Scottish Independence. Although the YES votes only totalled 45%, the First Minster said it was perfectly clear to him that those voting NO intended to vote against remaining in the UK, giving the SNP 100% in total.

The beleaguered SNP leader hit upon this latest strategy following David Cameron’s refusal to fight for it in the traditional Scottish way, in a dimly lit Glasgow car park.

“So far as I’m concerned, no one in their right mind would vote to remain in the United Kingdom,” he said defiantly, “so unless you’re accusing the Scottish electorate of lunacy, then it stands to reason that those who apparently voted ‘No’ must have misunderstood the ballot paper and meant ‘No” to the UK.”

Prime Minister Cameron dismissed fears of an excruciatingly long war of words with Alex Salmond:

”I’ve no intention of wasting time by entering into such a ridiculous discussion with the First Minister,” he said. “Besides, all my time is going to be taken up making arrangements for the rest of the United Kingdom’s forthcoming referendum to dump Scotland.”

“If at first you don’t succeed ….”