iPhone 6 introduces convenient way to pay for iPhone 7

iPhone 6 will feature pre-shattered screen, so owners can boast of being first to break one.

Apple has announced that the new iPhone 6 will make electronic purchases easier, so owners can splash out on must-have gadgets such as the forthcoming iPhone 7.

“When we were designing the iPhone 6, we asked ourselves ‘what do our customers really want?'” revealed CEO Tim Cook. “We quickly realised that what they desire most in the world is the future iPhone 7.”

The newish iPhone 6, available in lamb and bacon flavours, is compatible with most of the tills in Apple’s stores. Pundits predict that should help boost sales when the iPhone 7 is released in October.

“Not only does the iPhone 6 boast a battery life that can withstand a queue of moronic insomniacs on deck chairs outside our shops”, announced Cook, “but it can easily be torn in half and thrown away, when it becomes redundant in a couple of weeks.”

The iPhone 6 was not the only technology announced at the gala event. Apple has also introduced an ‘iWatch’, with the technology to countdown to the launch of iWatch2.

“These are bound to fly off the shelves, everyone will want an iWatch3”, claimed Cook. “Think of this one as a ‘gateway watch’ to iWatch2: that will feature an innovative app that measures time more accurately, because it doesn’t miss out leap years, summer time or Thursdays.”

Tim Cook became available following the much anticipated death of Steve Jobs. Pictures of his replacement have already been leaked on several technology blog sites, after a rich geek in an unnecessarily dour suit was left behind in a bubble tea bar in Manhattan.