World Wide Woofs: internet addicts to get their own service dogs

Big enough to carry you out into the fresh air if he has to

In a landmark ruling Harold internet addict, Steph Jacobson, has been awarded her own service dog. It is now expected that hundreds of thousands of other similarly afflicted Britons will be getting their own dog under the World Wide Woof scheme.

“Berners is amazing,” Ms Jacobson said of her 160lb Caucasian shepherd dog. “He’s been trained to do so many things for me. If I’ve been online for more than three hours at a time he lies over my laptop and growls until I stand up and move around, and twice a week he buries my iPhone in the garden for a bit.”

“Thanks to Berners I’m so much more active. I feel like I’ve got my life back.”

World Wide Woofs have been used in Japan and South Korea for several years and while their owners are grateful that the dogs can break the cycle of addiction, many say that their most important function is as something to cling onto during the unendurable horror of a Facebook outage.

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