Putin warns he can deploy more holidaymakers within 45 minutes

Vladimir Putin has warned the west that should it continue to interfere with the situation in Ukraine, he can deploy some more highly trained holidaymakers armed with passports, sun cream, and unlimited ammunition within 45 minutes.

“Obviously I know nothing about them crossing the border,” Putin said, “but I do know that Russian holidaymakers take their holidays very seriously, especially when they are on holiday from military duty and in an area that Russia is keen to control.

“One false move from Europe or the US, or any more sanctions and we have thousands of holidaymakers ready to cross the border to top up their tans in their armoured vehicles, which of course are their road trip vehicles of choice.”

The Ukrainian authorities have criticised Russia’s tourists comparing their actions to that of the Germans.

The head of Ukraine’s military said: “It is bad enough when holidaymakers come and reserve their space on the beach with a towel, but you can’t reason with them when they lay a tank over a sun-lounger.”