Row breaks out over Ukip’s use of foreign angels

Clarence, a foreign angel (now with wings)

Clarence, a foreign angel (now with wings)

Ukip in Glastonbury has come under fire for employing angels and galactic beings none of which are residents of the United Kingdom. There have been resignations in the local party amid allegations that it’s being overrun by occultists who are working with supernatural entities that use the euro and have banned imperial weights and measures in their suspiciously keen-on-garlic-but-not-real-ale celestial home.

“I don’t mind that certain people believe they are in contact with beings from angelic realms,” said a disgruntled kipper. “What I object to is that these angelic realms are clearly not part of the UK and do not accept Her Majesty the Queen as their sovereign. And I’m not racist but as no one’s ever seen these angels and galactic beings how do we know that they’re our sort of people?”

“I’m used to being persecuted for my beliefs,” said one of the alleged occultists. “I’ve been called a fruitcake who can’t cope with reality but on the other hand everyone’s really supportive of my belief in angels.”

 

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