Sofa sales pitch enters third day


Couple said to be comfortable, but fearful for their bank details.

A couple from Harold are still being held in a furniture warehouse, after negotiations for free scatter cushions collapsed.

Beryl and Joseph Blythe were taken by a sales representative, after mistaking the Dunstable branch of DFS for a safe Habitat.

“As soon as we saw the ‘sale’ signs, I knew we were in trouble”, said Joseph Blythe, through a line set up by police. “We should have run, but Beryl had been lulled into a false state of chaise longueing.”

After casually mentioning to Joseph that she thought it might fit in their orangery, she was quickly confronted by a strangely grinning man with a tape measure.

“He started talking about taupe and disarmed me with a really hot tea”, said Beryl. “I was trapped there, nearly horizontal with this wretched cup and saucer balanced on my leg.”

“There wasn’t so much as an incidental nest of tables to offer any relief. That’s when he started eulogising about interest-free credit.”

Joseph might have considered taking the cup himself, but sadly there were no free biscuits. Instead he tried to get away with just buying a modest foot stool.

“That was his biggest mistake”, said PC Flegg, clutching her negotiator’s Speak & Spell. “They won’t break up a set, it’s futile trying to persuade them to release the small ones.”

“Our only hope is to get in there soon and liberate the pair. The sale ends on Monday, and I want the blue ones for the station rest area.”

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