George Osborne’s attendance at the first of the Monty Python live shows has had an unforeseen consequence.
“I didn’t find the show funny at all,” the Chancellor said. “I don’t like men dressing up as women and talking in stupid voices. I like funny ladies like Mrs Brown. However I did find the contents inspiring.”
“When my government took over the country it was mess,” Osborne said. “Everyone in the UK was living in a lake, having to get out of the lake at three o’clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Gordon Brown would beat them around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if they were lucky. And we’ve done our best to change that. For a start we’ve closed the mill and made sure hardly anyone can afford to hot gravel.”
“I’ll be suggesting to IDS that the Ministry of Silly Walks take over from Atos. Last night I watched an unstable septuagenarian still doing his job, despite exhibiting hip spasms and virtually no control over his legs. An inspiration to us all, Cleese has demonstrated that no-one really needs any benefits. Especially once they’ve sold out the O2.”
“What have I learned from the Monty Python show? What haven’t I learned,” Osborne enthused. “I’ve learned that it’s possible to stay at the top of your profession for decades without ever having to have a fresh idea or innovate. Repeating the same thing again and again is something I’m keen for the Tory party to emulate. And in time I’m sure the public will love us just as much as the Pythons. Say no more!”