Flatulent dog complains about being compared to Miliband


Depressed: Pertinax has been unable to face the world since it happened

Local dog, Pertinax, is threatening to sue the BBC for defamation of character after being slurred on Newsnight.

“I was enjoying watching Jeremy Paxman’s last show,” Pertinax told us from the house he allows the Thorvald family to share with him having chosen them to take him away from a Dunstable cats and dogs home two years ago. “And it was all right, bit smug maybe but it was okay and then Paxman said it.”

Distressed Pertinax whispered “He said Ed Miliband was ‘as popular as a flatulent dog in a lift.’”

“He didn’t say my name but I am a flatulent dog and I often go in lifts. So I see this as a direct attack on me and my self-esteem.”

Resting his nose on his paws Pertinax whined. “The BBC have made me feel like a Bad Dog.”

Pertinax insists that  he is far more popular than Ed Miliband and also noted that he’d “shat things with more voter appeal”.

“This is the worst and most damaging comparison a dog has suffered since Churchill called depression the black dog. At least depression can be cured, Miliband’s a hopeless case.”

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