TV viewers vow suicide pact if Richard and Judy get another series


Suffering beyond the limits of endurance

Local TV fans Jenny Renfield and husband Arthur have raised a storm in the media by claiming they have agreed to a mutual assisted death pact should Richard and Judy’s morning talk show ever return to television.

In an interview with the Evening Harold, Mrs Renfield said: “If Arthur was really forced to endure that horrific suffering, I wouldn’t give a tuppenny if there was a risk of being prosecuted. I’d do what was right, and I’d take the consequences. That is your job, that is your responsibility as a partner and viewer.”

Her husband agreed, saying: “I wouldn’t let my wife go through that sort of torture. The locked room, the bottle of whisky and the revolver, no messing about. Unless I could find the TV remote and change channels, of course.”

The debate around assisted suicide has been raging for years, but there is growing belief that it may be only human to allow leniency in cases of unbearable trauma, such as having to sit through another Ali G impersonation.

The Renfields’ revelations have outraged pro-chatshow campaigners. Alistair Thompson, a spokesman for Sofas not Killing, said in a statement: “This is another deeply depressing and misguided set of comments from two license fee payers who should know better.”

“These headline-grabbing comments go against the advice of organisations like the World Health Organisation which says that a revival of the Richard and Judy show could have enormous benefits for the health of the nation.”

When shown the clip of Richard Madeley actually doing his Ali G impersonation, Thompson added: “Sweet Jesus, take me now. Does anyone have a revolver?”

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