UK politics gets ever more dignified as weasel calls cock-womble an eel

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“The lies I told about Iraq were this big…”

During his phone-in on LBC today Boris Johnson, a clever man pretending to be a golden retriever pretending to be an idiot, described Tony Blair as an “eel-like customer”. And in doing so lent a fresh dignity to British politics.

“It’s great to hear Johnson who was sacked from The Spectator for being a liar calling Blair a liar and throwing in a petty insult too,” said Harold resident and keen politics fan, Alex Gates. “Sometimes I worry that the politicians of today aren’t capable of being as immature and opportunist as those of times past but then something like this happens and restores my faith.”

Gates is also impressed by the frequent reports of sexual harassment and mocking of disabled colleagues that come from inside the Houses of Parliament.

“That’s how you know these people are fit to tell the rest of us what to do,” he said. “Those expensive educations have left them with manners and attitudes that would shame a prison riot which proves they’re part of the ruling elite. No other group of people would continually behave like such unconscionable dicks.”

“The alternative, of course, is that we all start voting for normal people who are in politics to do some good and not make themselves richer,” Gates mused. “But then we’d miss out on so much top bants I don’t think it would be worth it.”

Boris Johnson concluded his phone-in by calling David Cameron a “fat maggot” but when asked if he had an animal based insult for Nick Clegg he merely looked blank before replying “who?”.

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