Saying ‘some of my best friends are black / gay’ becomes easier with launch of ‘Token Friends’ website

A controversial new ‘Token Friends’ website has been launched to enable people to obtain a black or gay ‘friend’ and therefore be immune to any criticism that their racist or homophobic views are indeed racist or homophobic.

Token Friends founder Jenny May of Harold explained the website’s appeal:

“The sort of people who traditionally relied on the ‘some of my best friends are black / gay’ line to explain away their seemingly racist or homophobic rants now no longer have any black or gay friends left for some reason. Our website allows them to obtain that invaluable friend so they can continue explaining their ‘point of view’ down at the pub and in the online comments section of the Daily Mail.”

Jenny May said Token Friends will have premium and regular membership options with premium members able to obtain a real-life black or gay friend, and regular members just getting a Facebook friend. Either way, the black or gay ‘friend’ will get paid for their service.

Critics are branding Token Friends as ‘intolerance for hire’, and ‘political-correctness prostitution’, but May denies the website is exploitive.

“We have one black, gay, disabled Muslim lady on the site and she makes so much money she is thinking of quitting her job as a human rights lawyer” said May. “A number of gay folk have used the site to earn some spare cash to pay for their wedding.”

While Token Friends was set up with the recreational racist and homophobe in mind, it has also attracted institutional interest, said Ms May.

“Just this morning UKIP has put an order in for 20,000 ‘darkies’ so that it can avoid being branded racist during the European elections. And slightly puzzlingly, the Church of England has enquired as to whether we can do a job-lot of ‘burd-turglars’.”