Fall crucifix, fall!
A number of welfare recipients say they now realise Cameron really was doing God’s work with his brave programme of benefit cuts teaching them to be self-reliant and entrepreneurial.
“Cameron has literally given me the hunger to succeed” said disabled Harold teenager Simon Delaney. “And I was so inspired by Dave’s call for beneficiaries to ‘stand on their own two feet’ that I got most of the way up from my wheelchair before unfortunately tumbling over. Like many others I want to show my gratitude to Cameron by helping build a giant, albeit slightly rickety and fallovery, crucifix.”
UKIP leader Nigel Farage also agreed Cameron should be honoured even if just for the reason that he was born and bred in the UK.
“We may have our differences but Dave is one of us, and what better way to honour him than a giant crucifix built by home grown builders who have been out of work for years after those Eastern Europeans came and stole their jobs? Ok, the builders might be a bit out of practise, and the whole structure might be a bit unstable, but it will still be a very British tribute.”
Scottish sentiment was also in favour of a giant crucifix as a way of remembering Cameron, but for cost reasons they weren’t keen on spending too much money on the base. They were however happy to spring for a couple of nails to attach Cameron to the crucifix.
Boris Johnson said the giant crucifix was a great idea and he would like to be there when Cameron unveiled it.
“Mainly so I can nudge the crucifix in his direction” said Johnson.
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