Ed Miliband, leader of the Labour Party has vowed to reform the way the party choses its leader to prevent the mistakes that stopped his brother taking charge.
It was because of the unions’ powerful votes that Miliband took the helm of the party despite the majority of party members preferring his brother David, a shock result that Ed himself described as ‘a travesty’.
“We need to stop unions having such a big say in who leads the party,” Miliband said in a speech to a queue at a Morrison’s checkout. “They have proven they can’t be trusted to make the right decision when they voted for, well, um, me.”
“Some people say I stabbed my brother in the back, but that would have involved some sort of strategy. I actually think David would have been a great leader of our party and almost guaranteed us success at the next election.
“However the unions decided instead that a charismatic, funny, sensible, good looking and an all round popular nice guy with policies is not what the public wants, so voted for me instead.”
The move has opened up the possibility of a new leader being voted in should Labour fail to win power at the next election.
“I will stand again but only because they won’t be able to screw it up again, leaving the grass-roots members able to vote for a more competent leader” Miliband continued, “like Andy Burnham, Harriet Harman, a shoe or a chicken with a head injury.”