England 0 – Germany 1 : Full match report


England Vs Germany is one of the oldest football rivalries in football, so even though this game was a friendly, for the fans it means so much more. For the officials however, it is a game that needed to be handled sensitively which is why although it was all supposed to kick off between 19:39 and 19:45, they opted for a less controversial time of 20:00.

Wearing their traditional white strip, England kicked off against a Germany in green and white. England started well despite playing the first 5 minutes with ITV pundit Andy Townsend on the right. This misunderstanding was soon corrected and he was replaced with the intended Andros Townsend, which was a shame as Andros’s punditry was of a much higher standard than Andy’s

England’s first real chance came in the 20th minute. After a nice spell of passing in and around the box, Wayne Rooney headed just over the bar. Had the ball gone in the goal, it would have been reminiscent of the goal he scored for Harold Thursday under 10s against a Squirrel Lickers Arms XI. His stint in the under 10s ended recently when the team failed to argue the age restrictions should also apply to a player’s reading age

The first bit of controversy came not on the field, but with Roy Hodgson threatening to fight them on the benches . Germany manager, Joachim Löw, had accused the Hodgson of spitting in his direction. This misunderstanding was quickly cleared up when it turned out Hodgson was just shouting for ‘Sturridge to sprint speedily past Schmelzer’.

Despite playing well and looking good on the counter-attack, England managed to concede the first goal. 2 corners in quick succession saw Germany take the lead. The second corner was played in, cleared but returned in from the far right for Mertersacker to head in the bottom-left side of the goal. Having made a great save moments earlier, Joe Hart was still texting his club manager to tell him he got his form back as the ball flew past him and into the back of the net.

Just before the end of the first half, Stephen Gerrard had a long range shot that went just over the bar, on the concourse in the upper tier.

The referee blew the whistle for the break. Although some thought it would be a nice gesture, it was decided that they would not use the brief pause in the friendly game of football to have a friendly game of football before taking their sides again to resume their friendly game of football.

The second half started the way the first half had ended, with the referee blowing his whistle. A frantic 5 minutes saw both teams get into the box but neither being able to finish the move off. England’s first meaningful chance of the half came from Townsend with a shot from 35 yards that came off the outside of the post into the arms of the ball boy who at the age of 76, had won his 205th England ball boy cap.

67 minutes saw the introduction of Jack Wilshere to play in midfield. The Arsenal player who spends his time working for a Frenchman and was now up against the Germans spent his first 7 minutes on the pitch trying to smuggle out the picture of the ‘Madonna with the big boobies’ before concentrating on the football.

The next 23 minutes passed without much incident, and more importantly, without a goal. A few corners and half chances were England’s only answer to the First-half goal. As the final whistle went, there were audible boos from the England fans, which slowly turned into loud cheers and applause as they realised that although they had lost to arch rivals Germany, it wasn’t on penalties.

A disappointing night ended in farce when German television broadcaster RTL, tried to get an interview with Wayne Rooney. When the presenter asked “what is your name?” Roy Hodgson intervened saying “don’t tell them, Wazza”.

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