A tearful Tony Blair was reunited temporarily with his conscience last Saturday, at the Royal Albert Hall’s Festival of Remembrance.
Blair, who has been publicly recognised for his major part in creating “Gulf2: ‘A boy never forgets starting his first war’” had left his conscience in the waiting area outside the US President’s Oval Office in 2002 but forgot to collect it on his way out. He’d not been expecting to see it again for a long time, if ever.
“It’s been away overseas apparently” gushed the former Prime Minister “as indeed was I, but somehow our paths never seemed to cross. Maybe it only travels Club Class.”
Tony Blair had just finished a medley of his Number One hits, including ‘All the evidence was in the Dossier’ and his cover version of Jessie J‘s ‘Price Tag’, with its ironic chorus line ‘It’s not about the money, money, money’. Then, to gasps of astonishment from the sell-out Albert Hall audience, compere Hugh Edwards announced the surprise arrival of his conscience.
Millions of viewers worldwide witnessed live the heart-rending moment when, in a moment reminiscent of Jenny Agutter’s platform scene from ‘The Railway Children’, the conscience ran across the floor of the Albert Hall and threw itself into Blair’s arms. Sadly it will be but a brief reunion as the conscience has important work to do, trying to bring reconciliation to warring factions in the Middle East.
A hologram of the late weapons expert David Kelly had been expected to attend and add its own tribute but was last seen being bundled away from the building by several burly security staff shouting “Who are you? No, I don’t want to go for a walk in the woods!”
When interviewed by the Evening Harold after the Festival, Tony Blair agreed he’d been deeply moved by the evening, adding “That’ll be £50,000 please and make it payable to ‘cash’.”